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"You're in shock but don't worry, I can fix you."When she'd finished washing me, she started on herself. In the days that followed I would become very excited watching her run her own hands over her body but not that afternoon."You look like you haven't slept in days," she said as she led me to the bedroom. "We'll deal with that first."Still naked, she took me to a bedroom and put me to bed.I woke gently, it was dark outside. Jackie's arm wrapped around me, her breasts pushed into my back as she spooned into me. My cock was hard and as I started to move I felt her hand wrap around it. That's when I realised it had all been a terrible dream. I reached behind me and stroked her bum. It seemed slightly bigger and rounder than I remembered. I moved away and started to turn over."Oh Jackie, I just had the most awful dream." She still had hold of my cock and was moving her hand up and down."I dreamed you'd left me and you and Ian had gone to live with Simon."I turned towards her and ran my. ”“This sounds serious, Mitzi. We should go to that pub down the road and torment old biddies by using the men’s and the ladies’ loos.”“The locals have got used to all that now. A couple even read The Guardian.”“For God’s sake! You should move.”“No, I’ve just got everything as I like it.”“Why is your neighbour doing this?” I say. “He was all right before, wasn’t he?”“He’s never been all right, Kelly. He is evil. That’s why I called you.”“I’m not evil.”“Your tvChix profile says you’re a witch.”“And a galactic agent.”“I don’t know what that means. Will you help me?”“Have you got gin?”“And tonic with elderflower, and lemons that have already been sliced.”“By you?”“Don’t be silly, darling.”“Okay, I’m in. What’s your plan?”“He’s scared of ghosts.”“Right.”“We convince him his house is haunted, so he moves.”I regard Mitzi, who exists in a liminal realm between joking and seriousness that is often hard to find one’s way around.“Haunted,” I repeat.“Yes. I’ve downloaded some pant-wettingly.
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